you play what you’re supposed to
play it silently
so often i have seen you talking all by yourself
asking for a relievance
asking for convincement
asking for a redemption
hell yeah he don’t love you
even you, yourself, not sure whether you’re in love or not
you
oh, dear..
as if it was an accident two or three years ago
well, shit happens
and you, still playing your role, as if it was all running well
yang tersimpan rapat dalam kotak biru dibawah tegel kopong kubuka perlahan, kubaca lamat-lamat, kalimat demi kalimatmu dulu kubandingkan dengan kalimat demi kalimatmu belakangan.
kotak itu biru, sebiru isi suratmu, dulu ia berbicara, dulu..
so, we broke up that day.
the first day is the damned day. imagine me in a frequency whereby i can hear you, i can see you, i can smell you, but you don’t want me too.
the second day was just like day one. see your face, kissing him, chit-chatting with him, sharing your perfume with him.
the third day, the fourth day, a week.
i close my frequency. downsizing them.
yes, i’m a stalker, stalking your life. and maybe you realize it, so you feel uncomfortable.
and in between, you pick your own privacy.
Are you really here or am I dreaming? I can’t tell dreams from truth. For it’s been so long since I have seen you, I can hardly remember your face anymore. When I get really lonely and the distance calls its only silence, I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs.
If you want me satisfy me
Are you really sure that you believe me when others say I lie? I wonder if you could ever despise me. You know I really try to be a better one to satisfy you for you’re everything to me. And I do what you ask me, If you let me be free.
If you want me satisfy me
I think it’s time we give it up. And figure out what’s stopping us from breathing easy, and talking straight. The way is clear if you’re ready now, the volunteer is slowing down, and taking time to save himself.
The little cracks they escalated, and before we knew it was too late for making circles and telling lies.
You’re moving too fast for me and I can’t keep up with you. Maybe if you slowed down for me, I could see you’re only telling lies. Lies. Lies. Breaking us down with your lies. Lies. Lies. When will you learn.
So plant the thought and watch it grow, wind it up and let it go.
~Glen Hansard
Lonely sidewalks, silent night. Bring the evening, deep inside.
Hold me darling, touch me now. Let the feelings free tonight.
Time of season, wipes your tears. No ryhme or reason, no more fears.
And all the dreamin’, is far behind. You are here now, and everythin’s alright.
And in the morning I’ll be gone away. All the things I left behind
If you need me I’ll come night and day. Let’s stop the hands of time
Love is on the way. I can see it in your eyes.
Let’s give it one more try tonight baby…
~Saigon Kick
dear ditya,
mengapa suaramu terkejut mendengar suaraku? apa yang membuatmu tergagap menerima telepon dariku? aku rindu padamu, kudengar kamu sudah berubah? aku rindu padamu, kudengar kamu kini bersamanya? masihkah?
apakah kamu menyayanginya, ditya? kenapa dia memintamu menjauhi dilla? karena dia sahabatku? karena dia tau cintamu padaku lebih besar dari cintamu padanya?
kenapa kamu masih ingin bertemu denganku? adakah kamu masih merindukanku? adakah kamu masih ingin menungguku?
maaf, aku harus bertanya pada masa lalu: apa kamu pernah benci aku? apa menurutmu aku salah ketika meninggalkanmu? apa saja yang kau ceritakan pada dilla, sahabatku?
aku naif kala itu, aku takut kita terlalu serius, lalu ajal memanggilmu, seperti Tuhan menarik Donny ke jurang ketika berangkat malam minggu pertama.
dear ditya, maukah kamu memaafkan aku, sayang?
~melati
——-
soundtrack: postcard from far away – coldplay
Don’t you dare wishing something that you don’t ever expected.
God hear your very smooth whisper, even if it’s broken.
again, The Almighty got some sense of humour. she has the so called sixth sense, so writting about her is a bit the same as calling her up.
so, last week i wrote about her story, and just tonight she rang me on my cellphone. acting as if nothings happened in last few years, acting as if i’m wrong for hating her leaving me alone that day.
i’ve been thinking on meeting her somewhere last week, been looking for his old house last monday. and, she came to me tonight. o what a coincidence. You really know how to play God, don’t you God?
hahaha..
river flows in you, said yiruma
you’re all the blood flowing in my veins. tell me, how can i live without you.
